


Thor is Interviewed on Ancient Aliens

by Sybil_Silverphoenix



Category: Ancient Aliens, Avengers, Thor - Fandom
Genre: And how humans have obviously been taught by smarter aliens :P, Crack Fic, Discussion of Norse Myths, Is it real?, Or just fancy Alien Technology?, Thor gets interviewed by Ancient Aliens, Thor sets the record straight, magic!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:57:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sybil_Silverphoenix/pseuds/Sybil_Silverphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you watched that show on History Channel called Ancient Aliens?<br/>If not... lucky you. They pretty much talk about how stupid human beings are and how we would've never been able to strike two rocks together to get fire let alone sharp edges... or build the Pyramids... or Stonehenge... or come up with imaginative stories to explain the world and cosmos around us... or develop modern technology for that matter. Humans we so dumb! :P</p><p>If you have... and like me... you find it funny and absurd at best... and insulting at worst then this bit of writing is for you....</p><p>If you have seen the show... and like it... and actually believe in what they say... well, sorry, not sorry</p><p>Title says it all... This is basically my take on how Thor would be interviewed on that show if they ever got him on it :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thor is Interviewed on Ancient Aliens

**Author's Note:**

> I find the Ancient Aliens show humorous and the whole Aliens visiting us in the past is great for imagining plots and stories for movies and comics today. Now that doesn't mean I don't believe there are Aliens out there in the Universe (I totally do... I just don't think they'd come here then leave... I mean, look around... Earth is sweet with all its natural resources! Why would they leave? And if they are so advanced as to cross the vast distances between the stars... they would kick our asses and be able to survive any germ here on Earth... so they'd still be here... and where would that put us? Think about it)
> 
> That rant out of the way...
> 
> Do enjoy :)

These people seemed nice enough. They practically bent over backwards to accommodate him… yet then they throw this Mortal at him with a funny last name and even crazier hair that stood on end as though he had been struck by a bolt from Mjolnir herself… and after answering some of the scholarly man’s excited and somewhat rather personal questions, Thor was highly considering doing just that… but that wouldn’t do for inter-Realm relations (as Tony had come to coin the phrase… then patented it and let the birds sing of it in their tweets for the Man of Iron spoke to them using some Mortal sorcery known as Twitter).

The other Mortals standing about with cameras, bright lights, and a fuzzy thing on the end of a long pole that hangs above Thor and his Interviewer look on in silence. There is a man that stands behind and just off to the side of Thor whom holds up large sheets of stiff paper with the various questions written upon them so that this wild-haired Mortal doesn’t forget what to ask.

Thor finds this all odd but the Mortals (his Avenger shield-brothers and sister) have told him that is normal for Mortal ‘television shows’… Thor has watched a few of the Mortal plays. Some are rather fascinating… others are very confusing… and some like this show, seem to have the right idea but lack any truth to their boisterous claims. Well… this show was lacking, until Thor agreed to sit down and speak with the persistent requests for an interview. Now he is determined to ‘set the record straight’ as the good Captain says.

Apparently, since his banishment to Midgard a few years ago, they had been trying with much determination to get Thor in front of their cameras. It was the tenacity that drew Thor’s interest to the show. He then watched their episode in which they discussed him and Asgard. These Mortals speaking in it had such wild ideas and theories that Thor decided he’d better talk with them before imagination gets ahead of these Mortals and someone gets the wrong idea of Asgard…

So… here he is… sitting in full armor with his helm perched upon Mjolnir directly at his right side and this eager and excited Mortal named Giorgio A. Sue-ka-loss… So-ca-louse… Tsoukalos… whatever… damn name begins with a ‘T’ that is silent and is a pain in the arse for Thor to wrap his tongue around so he merely says Giorgio when he addresses the wild-haired Mortal (who never fails to smile brightly at the personal connection he feels is being forged much to Thor’s growing internal annoyance).

“So there really is a Rainbow Bridge?” The wild haired and excited Giorgio asks to confirm the description just given to him of what Asgard looks like.

“Aye… and at the end of it… perched upon the edge of the Realm Eternal, is the Bi-Frost Observatory where noble, All-Hearing and All-Seeing Heimdall stands watch.” Thor answers calmly with a curt nod of his golden haired head.

“Is he really All-Hearing and All-Seeing? It’s not some advanced technological device like our TVs and microphones or drone spy planes that he uses?” Giorgio asks a little incredulously. Thor’s bush dark blonde brows furrow at the Mortal’s ideas of Asgard’s ‘technology’ being something very similar to Earth’s… clearly, he doesn’t understand magical energy (which the Mortals do use, they just use the magic of the Storm in a very narrow sense… conducting lightning along insolated metal wires instead of crystals and through the air like on Asgard).

“He truly is All-Seeing and All-Hearing. Heimdall requires no special devices for his eyes and ears alone are all that he uses to watch all Nine Realms and everywhere in-between for any threats to Asgard… and now by extension at my request… Midgard.” Thor answers feeling a little defensive and he tries to hide it by schooling his face to remain a blank mask.

“Magic? Really?” Giorgio asks in obvious disbelief of the claim.

“Aye… it is an inherent force in the Cosmos that comes in many varieties much like how light comes in different colors.” Thor says then sighs and looks away from Giorgio for a moment. Emotion and grief start to well-up within him and he tries hard to hold it in. “My broth-” Deep breath then sigh. “Loki would be able to describe it better than myself… for sadly, I was a poor student in those lessons. I learned just enough to channel my own in-dwelling Seidr in order to wield the mighty hammer, Mjolnir… and the basics like opening doors and working the magelights and things of like manner… nothing more.”

“So Heimdall is watching us right now?” Giorgio then asks nervously and his eyes dart up to look at the ceiling briefly.

“He may have turned his gaze upon us briefly since we’ve mentioned his name.” Thor says and gives a small smile of amusement as the wild-haired Mortal’s excitement is turned down a few notches.

“Oh… well… I guess that’s… comforting.” Giorgio then says and there is a brief pause as he takes a gulp from his bottle of water. “Your hammer… only you can lift it, correct?” He then asks as though unfazed by the last few minutes of conversation.

“Only the worthy can lift Mjolnir. I am lucky enough to be one of those few.” Thor answers with a smile. He then removes his helm from the handle and lifts his Dwarven forged hammer. “Care to try your hand?” Thor then asks as he sits the hammer down with a heavy metallic ‘thunk’ between them. Giorgio looks at the dark red leather handle… the adamantium on the pommel shimmers brightly.

“Well… since you are offering…” Giorgio says with a touch of nervousness to his voice as he stands and takes a step forwards. There is an excited gleam in his eyes as he reaches out with his right hand… fingers slipping down the ridged shaft… curling to test the girth of it… then comes the first small tug. Nothing. Giorgio looks puzzled… so he grips tighter, pulls harder. Still nothing. He twists the leather strap around his wrist and tugs with all his might… or as much as a Mortal such as himself can muster. Nothing… not even a budge.

“Clearly, I am not a member of such an elite club.” Giorgio says with a chuckle as he brushes off the rejection of the hammer. He then crouches down and takes a closer look at the dark red leather handle… going so far as to pull out a jewelers magnifying lens for an even closer look. “You are certain there is no fingerprint recognition or other scanner of some sort? Because I am betting this hammer was programmed for your DNA specifically… or for yours and your father, Odin’s, if he can wield this weapon as well.”

“It does not scan me nor my Father’s Line. It does read one’s Heart and Soul for certain qualities in order to determine their worthiness.”

“What are those qualities?” Giorgio then asks curiously. _‘Like a true Scholar.’_ Thor thinks as he eyes the man.

“Well… Mjolnir looks for a Pure Heart, a Strong Will, and an Honest Soul… if you harbor evil within your Heart or lack conviction in your beliefs or doubt yourself in anyway… you will be unable to wield this hammer.” Thor starts then sighs as he looks down at Mjolnir. “I never lacked in any of those qualities until my Father took Mjolnir from me and placed an added test upon her. I didn’t doubt myself until I was unable to lift it from the sands in your Mojave Desert.” Thor then pauses briefly as he looks Giorgio directly in the eyes.

“I had grown too arrogant in my entitlement… too accustomed to things going my way. Father decided it was time I learnt the lesson of humility… and so he made that the test. The lesson didn’t sink in until Loki caused his mischief by sending the fearsome weapon, The Destroyer, to this Realm. If it hadn’t been for my brother, I may still be just another Mortal living upon this world trying to make it home… for the lesson stuck once I offered to stop my Brother’s wrath by sacrificing myself… then Mjolnir sang for me once more and came to my aid. It brought me back from the Gates of Valhalla to protect this Realm as well as the others. Now I have a new appreciation for this tool.”

“Tool? But it is just a weapon, correct?” Giorgio then asks ignoring the queue cards for a moment as he follows Thor’s words about the mighty hammer.

“Aye… Mjolnir is a tool as well as a weapon. Meant for building as much as for destroying… for have we not just built a bridge through the mere discussion of it?” Thor then says and for once he sounds wise beyond his years and not cocky and boastful like in days long past.

“Aye… we have.” Giorgio says using Thor’s own term of agreement. He then smiles at Thor who returns it with one of his own. “Now… you said the Bi-Frost was located at the ‘edge’ of your home world. What do you mean by that? Is Asgard flat? And if so… how is such a thing possible? For physics can’t allow a world to exist that is flat like a pancake.” Giorgio then asks steering back to the earlier talk of the Rainbow Bridge. Thor just chuckles lightly knowing this interview is far from over… but at least he feels that he has reached this Mortal… if not completely… then somewhat… and that is hopeful. He just has to correct this wild-haired Mortal on what exactly magic is and isn’t. Now that is a challenging task, perhaps even daunting. Thor may have to arrange for this Mortal to speak with the All-Father himself. As though that would ever happen…

He can see it now… Odin would refuse out right and declare that the guards send the Mortal back to the Bi-Frost at once. Thor dares not even think what his father would do if the wild-haired Mortal defied him. Probably throw him in a cell in the dungeons… and knowing this Mortal, he’d get excited by the energy barrier that would keep him contained or how the door to the latrine and waterfall bath opens upon thought request. Thor wonders if it would just be easier to deal with the Midgardians if they all thought him a true god.

No… that was the goal Loki strove for in his madness. Thor will not entertain such poisonous thoughts. It is much better to treat the Mortals as children who are still learning of the Cosmos and their place within it… therefore, it is Thor’s responsibility to be patient and serve as Teacher as well as Protector. Truly his job will never be completed… but he has to make a start somewhere. Why not here with those who are at least open to the idea of other intelligences out there in the Cosmos.

 

It truly is a new beginning… for all involved.

**Author's Note:**

> Next up... Giorgio goes to Asgard for a face-to-face chat with the All-Father himself ;)


End file.
